


Between The Pages of My Mind

by Dizzydaydreamer



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Post-War, Roe POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-04-18 04:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4692818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizzydaydreamer/pseuds/Dizzydaydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eugene Roe wakes up to find himself in a relationship with Babe Heffron and has no memory of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Gene's last memory is of before he and Heffron became friends.

Eugene awoke with a jerk, the sharp sound of barking came from close by. Why was there a dog? Maybe someone found it and decided to bring it back with them, though it escaped why anyone would think that was a good idea.

The next thing that he became aware of was the fact that the first time in what felt like years, he wasn't cold, actually, he was rather warm. Then as his eyes adjusted, he saw that he was in a room. His first thought was that he had been wounded and had somehow been sent to a hospital.

But as he sat up and looked around the room, he became aware that this theory was obviously wrong. The walls were wallpapered, the bed he was in was queen sized, civilian clothes were flung over an armchair in the corner and other personal belongings were scattered around the room.

Eugene now found himself very confused, if he wasn't at Bastogne, or a hospital where could he be?

Just as this thought occurred, he heard footsteps walking upstairs and then coming towards the room. Eugene sat upright, staring at the door, too confused to even begin to guess who could be about to enter the room as the footsteps stop outside the door and whoever it was pushed open the door.

“Happy birthday!” Eugene hadn't thought that his situation could get anymore mystifying but he was proven wrong. Private Heffron was standing in front of him, wearing pyjamas and slippers, holding a tray loaded with a plate piled with food and two cups of coffee and was beaming at him.

In his shock, he said nothing, staring at Heffron as he walked over to the bed and laid the tray in Eugene's lap before walking around to the other side of the bed and to Gene's bafflement, clambered into bed next to him. Heffron grabbed one of the cups of the tray “You didn't think that I'd forgotten had you? You should see your face! And I know that you said that you don't like surprises but come on, who doesn't like breakfast in bed!?”

Gene stared down at the plate, the hearty breakfast should have delighted him after only eating rancid slop, but everything about this was so wrong. The room suddenly felt too hot and the appetising smell of the food suddenly seemed sickening.

He had to get out of this surreal place, he scrambled out of bed, uncaring that he sent the tray flying onto Heffron who yelped as he was splatted with food and hot coffee was spilling into his lap. He stumbled out of the room, hoping that if he just got out of the room, all of this would disappear or at least he would wake up from this way too realistic dream. But as he found himself in a equally unknown landing, he stopped, not knowing what to do.

None of this was making any sense. It should be December, he should be in the woods surrounding Bastogne. Yet he was in a strange house with Private Heffron, who was acting so intimately with him, and apparently it was his birthday, which was two months ago.

He fell to his knees, overwhelmed by everything. He didn't even notice Heffron until he was crouched right in front of him. “Gene? Gene, what is it? Is it the war?” Dimly he wondered at this but his mind couldn't seem to take anymore in.

“It's alright, we're not there anymore, we're home. Everything is alright, everyone's fine, don't worry about it.” Heffron soothed as he gently lowered him to sit on the floor, talking calmly all the while. With the way he seemed so calm and almost used to it and by the way he talked about the War as if it was in the past, it made him wonder if he having a breakdown. Maybe it was that he had these regularly and maybe he was just forgetting things because of it. With this thought, Eugene felt himself begin to calm, and only then realised that his breathing had been heavy and fast.

When his breathing was almost normal, Heffron helped him stand and making him sit in the chair in the bedroom, started to clean up the mess on the bed. Gene watched, his mind going blank, as if it had had enough and given up on thinking.

After Heffron had pulled the sheets off the bed, he took both the tray and the sheets downstairs, leaving Eugene alone. Now that he was calm and had more time to look around the room properly, he noticed that there were some photos and on top of the dresser.

Standing up from the chair, he walked over to the dresser and examined the photos. There was a photo of him and Heffron with some of the easy men, though they all looked so different in civilian clothings. One photo was of Eugene's family and another which he assumed was Heffron family. The last photo made his breath catch in his throat. It looked as though it had been taken in a photo booth and it took him a moment to recognise that the two men were Heffron and himself, locked in an embrace and kissing deeply.

Eugene wasn't sure how much more of this he take.

Heffron knocked tentatively on the door before walking in. Eugene distantly noted that he had changed out of his food splattered pyjamas. “I've gotta go to work now. I'll be back around four, boss is letting me leave early today.” He said before leaning forward and kissing Eugene.

It was short and chaste and judging by the photo and the shared bedroom, they had done a lot more before but Eugene was still shocked by this affection from another man.

 

After Heffron had left, Eugene stayed where he stood, unsure of what to do. Now that he had decided that this was real life and that he had just forgotten a period of time, he began to wonder how to regain his memory. He had seen and heard of cases of shellshock where the sufferer forgot certain things and he determined that this must be like that.

Maybe seeing the rest of the house would jog some memories, Eugene thought to himself. He pushed opened the bedroom door and stepped into the area at the top of the stairs where he had collapsed before. Now that he wasn't in a haze of panic, he noticed that there were two other doors other than the one leading to the bedroom. He approached the one nearest to him and peering around the door, found an ordinary bathroom equipped with a toilet, sink and bathtub. He wondered how he and Heffron were able to afford a house with a indoor toilet, let alone a actual bathtub. From what little he knew of Heffron, he guessed he came from just as humble means as he did.

Backing out of the bathroom as it had done nothing to return any memories, he pushed open the last door upstairs. It was another bedroom, although this one was smaller than the other, had little in it and didn't share the lived-in feel that the bedroom he and Heffron had been in. He guessed it was a guest bedroom.

Having exhausted his options upstairs, Eugene headed down the stairs. The front door was directly in front of the stairs and the small hallway wrapped around the stairs and led to a door that he presumed was the back door by the look of it. There were three more rooms leading off the hallway, two on the right and one on the left by the bottom of the stairs.

He headed to the door closest to him but before he could enter, there was a knock on the front door. Before he even had a chance to open the door for them though, it opened and to Eugene's surprise in bounded Guarnere trailed more slowly by Toye. “Happy Birthday Doc!” Guarnere exclaimed. Eugene barely heard him though, he was staring at the crutches that both men had and the pant legs that were pinned up, showing the absence of a leg on each man.

“Ha! You should see your face, we really took you by surprise, huh?” Eugene was pulled into an awkward one armed hug by Guarnere, “Didn't really think that we'd miss your birthday, did you? We had to pay a fortune to get a cab here from Philly so consider our being here you're present.”

Toye now came over and held out his hand, which Eugene on instinct shook. “Good to see you again Doc, it's been awhile.”

Guarnere half-turned to Toye as he started towards the first door on the right, which Eugene could now see through the doorway from where he stood was a kitchen, saying something to him, though Eugene didn't register the words. He followed after them as if he was in a dream, not even aware of his legs moving. The last time he had seen Guarnere and Toye, or at least the last time he remembered seeing them, they had been in sitting in a foxhole at Bastogne, smoking and laughing. They had all their limbs and he had barely ever spoken to either.

Now they were going through the cupboards both missing a leg and seemingly good friends of his. Though of course, he now dimly remembered that Heffron had spent a lot of time with Guarnere, so maybe they were more his friends.

Eugene came back to himself to find Guarnere waving a hand in his face. “Hey Doc, you were away with the fairies for a moment there. Ha! Sorry bad choice of words.” He guessed this meant that they knew about him and Heffron then.

He now saw that Toye and Guarnere were holding cups of coffee and had made themselves sandwiches. He took the cup that Toye thrust at him and numbly followed them through to the adjoining room, which turned out to be a dining room.

He sat down heavily in one of the chairs and stared blankly into his coffee while the two other men talked to him at first then each other when it became apparent that he wasn't really listened.

Even though he barely knew him and with this whole relationship between that he knew nothing about, Eugene found himself confused that he wishing that Heffron was with him.


	2. Chapter Two

It had been a few hours now since Guarnere and Toye had arrived. He was dimly aware of them acting cautious around him. He was still in a daze but now had had the chance to see outside and realized that the house was situated in the countryside with the only other building in sight being a farm house in the distance. He could see a dog running around near it and guessed that it was the one that he had heard that morning when he first woke up.

He had only realized that he hadn't changed out of the pajamas he had woken up in until Guarnere asked him if he ever intended to get dressed. It was as he was getting dressed that he heard the door open and Guarnere and Toye greeting Heffron, who had just gotten back from work.

Eugene decided that he better go down and greet him, but as he reached the top of the stairs, still out of sight of the three men downstairs, he heard that they were now talking about him.

“He's been acting strange all morning. Looking spooked when he first saw and staring at our legs as if he's never seen it before, then not even talking to us, just staring into space. He's only getting dressed now. Has he been alright up 'til now?” Eugene stayed listening at the top of the stairs, unsure of what to do.

Someone sighed, he guessed it was Heffron. “He was perfectly fine yesterday but this morning he freaked out. It hasn't happened for a while and I don't know what caused it, he was still acting strange when I left this morning.” 

Eugene could tell that they were worried about him and was surprised to find out that he hadn't had any problems for a while as his trauma must be bad if he could just forget things like he has. Maybe this was the first time it had happened? That would explain why no one seemed to know that he had lost his memory of what must be at least a year or two. He could hear that they were now talking about something to do with Phili while moving into one of the other rooms. He decided that instead of telling them and making them worry over him even more, he would try to act as normal as possible.

He waited until they were out of the hallway before he went downstairs, not wanting them to know that he had been eavesdropping on their conversation. They were in the living room, now laughing over a story that Toye was telling.

Heffron looked up when Eugene walked into the room and beamed at him. He managed a shaky smile in return and went to sit in the last remaining seat, which was on the sofa next to the red-headed man.

Guarnere now interrupted Toye with some story of his own and Eugene tried his best to listen. Though this became more difficult when Heffron slung his arm along the back of the sofa, with his hand resting on the back of Eugene's neck. He had never really been that intimate with another person before. Of course he had a few girls he had taken on dates before the war, but they had been sweet and shy, only holding hands and at most allowing him to kiss them chastely. Those girls had never been able to give him a blanketing sense of comfort and send a feeling of warmth through him just by brushing a thumb against the back of his neck.

He only realized that he hadn't been listening when Heffron took away his hand as he stood and walked into the room he now knew was the kitchen. Toye and Guarnere were now talking amongst themselves, so he guessed that he should go and help the other man with whatever he was doing in the kitchen. This turned out to be making dinner.

“Could you get the potatoes out for me?” Heffron asked with a glance in his direction. He glanced around the room, at a loss of where the potatoes could be, now realizing that he should have scoped out all the rooms earlier, so he didn't have to face this problem. Though before he could start going through the cupboards to find them, Heffron seemed to see that he was having a problem and pulled a few out of a cupboard behind where Eugene was standing. He was then sent to work making the mashed potato, which Eugene thankfully knew how to do, having had helped his mother out in the kitchen before.

The meal was soon finished and the four men were sat around the table in the dining room, casual chatting as they ate. It was when Eugene had just about finished his food that Toye turned to him, “I've heard that work's been good for you, what are you doing now?” Eugene froze. He hadn't even thought about the fact that he would most probably have a job and he had no idea what it could be.

“It's been good... I've been busy...” He thought furiously of what he could answer with, he didn't even now what he did and didn't understand what Toye had meant about what he was doing now.

“Gene's been working on the farmhouse that's near us, they're just waiting for some materials to get delivered at the moment.” Heffron butted in with, then continued to talk about their neighbors, not even seeming to realize that he had saved Eugene. He guessed from what he said that he was a builder or something like that.

He continued to listen to the conversation, which he was grateful for as he could learn tidbits of his life from it that could come in useful in the future.

 

After the meal, they moved to the garden, which had a rather beautiful view of the farmlands around them and the forests and hills in the distant. They had now moved onto a subject that Eugene could be more involved in; the war. They exchanged stories and retold old humorous moments, such as the Dear Babe letter and the time that Heffron had fallen into the German's foxhole. Eugene contributed when they talked about Toccoa, their first jump and Normandy.

 

As the evening wore on, they brought out the booze and a few more somber topics came up. They talked about Bastogne, some of which he knew about and some that he didn't. His hands shook and his eyes went blurry when the casualties were brought up. Hoobler, Julian, Skip, Penkala... They were all a bit teary eyed at this point, though they cheered up somewhat as talk turned to happier things, such as Germany surrendering, going to the eagle's nest and when the war was finally over.

Eugene was awed to learn about the Eagle's nest and how they stayed in the lavish homes which had been owned by some Nazis who were at the top of the chain of command. It made him even more desperate to get his memory back.

 

Soon the sky grew dark and there were comments of tiredness and the men started to ready themselves for bed. The two guests argued over who would get the guest room and who would get the sofa. They ended up flipping a coin over it, which ended with Guarnere making his way upstairs to the guest room.

Heffron went up after Guarnere and Eugene, now realizing that he would end up sharing a bed with the other man, delayed his own going to bed by cleaning up the kitchen and making himself a cup of tea.

After washing up the cup, he found that he had run out of excuses for staying up and hesitantly went up the stairs. He could still hear Guarnere moving around in the other room which he found somewhat reassuring and bided his time by going to the bathroom and thoroughly brushing his teeth.

When he at last emerged from the bathroom, there was no longer any noise coming from the guest room and the door to his and Heffron's bedroom remained shut and he couldn't make out any sound from beyond it.

He stood in front of the door for a moment, unwilling to get into bed with another man, who he didn't know that well, especially when he didn't know what would be expected from him when he did get into bed. He at last pulled himself together enough to open the door and he stepped inside. It was dark in the room, with only some moonlight coming in through the gap in the curtains, illuminating the bed, where he could make out the form of Heffron, his chest raising and falling slowly.

He found his pajamas where he had discarded them on the chair earlier and with a glance at the bed to insure that the red head was still asleep, quickly changed into them. He considered sleeping on the floor or the chair, after all, he had sleep in worse conditions. Just as he picking up the clothes that were slung over the back of the chair, Heffron stirred. Eugene froze, not wanting him to wake up, but at that moment a belt slipped from his grasp and fell on the floor with a thud.

Heffron shot up into a sitting position, looking panicked until his eyes focused on Eugene. “What are you doing? Come to bed.” He grumbled before rolling over.

It was now impossible for him to sleep anywhere other than the bed without making his apparently lover suspicious. He edged over to the bed and pull back the cover, slowly sliding into the bed. He laid flat on his bed, unsure and uncomfortable. His breath caught in his throat when a hand reached across him, pulling him closer, followed by a leg being thrown over his legs and a head nestling under his chin.

It took Eugene a long time to fall asleep but when he did, it was deep and restful. He wondered if it was always like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm British, so I don't know much about the American states, therefore I don't know where about they would be living, but let's just say it's a few hour drive from Philadelphia.


	3. Chapter Three

Eugene was woken up by the smell of bacon. There was a warmth at his back and a weight over his side and chest.

Eugene blinked open his eyes, taking in his surroundings as the memories of the day before came flooding back. It was then that he realised that Heffron had his face buried in his hair and was using him as a teddy bear. He stiffened as this realisation hit, as he did so, Heffron jolted awake.

The other man seemed surprised and was looking around the room as if searching for what could have woken him. When he glanced down at Eugene, he instantly brightened. “Good morning.” He grinned and though he should have been expecting it, it still took him by surprise when Heffron leaned over and kissed him.

Eugene didn't move, not knowing how to react. Heffron must've felt this because he leant back with a frown though he didn't mention it. “I'm going to see if they need any help with breakfast.”

Eugene watched as the other man turned away from him and out of the room. It surprised him that although he barely knew Heffron, the thought of making him unhappy left an ache in his chest.

 

When Babe went downstairs to help Joe with breakfast, he greeted his guest with his usual amount of cheer but didn't make any further conversation as his thoughts lingered on his lover.

He couldn't understand what was going on with Gene. He had been perfectly fine the other day, they had been happy, joking, talking and being affectionate yet the next morning, Gene had freaked out and Babe had no idea what had happened. Of course they had both had issues after all that they had seen during the war and had had their fair share of nightmares, panic attacks and generally being jumpy. He had never seen Gene that bad before though and had been hesitant to leave him by himself while he went to work, but he had to go or he wouldn't have any work to go to.

When he had returned from work, he had been so overjoyed to see his friends, that he almost forgot about Gene's episode that morning, though the memory of the look of panic that had been on Gene's face came back to him as Bill and Joe recounted how he had been acting since they had arrived. Gene had acted a little more normally as the evening went on and seemed to relax some what, but Babe could tell that there was still something going on.

It almost physically hurt Babe that whenever he showed Gene the slightest bit of affection, he shied away from him and flinched at his touch. He wondered if it was because Bill and Joe were there, but he had always been fine with it before and he knew and trusted the two men.

As they had readied themselves for bed, he had hoped that his lover would be back to his normal self after a good night's sleep. He had been sorely disappointed to find that wasn't the case, as he was still acting so strangely.

It was just as he had finished making the food and Joe had gone to get Bill up that Gene appeared at the door way. His hair was still messy from sleeping, but he had gotten dressed. Babe smiled to see that he was wearing his favourite shirt.

He lingered in the doorway for a moment, looking as though he was thinking of what he should do, then started forward as if he had made up his mind. It took Babe by surprise when his arms wrapped around his waist and lips pressed against his cheek. Gene quickly pulled back before grabbing a plate of food hurrying into the dining room and Babe could have sworn that the other man's cheeks were red. He was still puzzled by the strange behaviour but was pleased that at least he was touching him again now and picked up a plate for himself and followed him into the other room.

 

After Heffron had gone downstairs, Gene had sat awhile on the bed and contemplated what to do. He was trying to keep the three other men, especially Heffron, from figuring out what was going with him but it seemed that so far he had failed at this. He knew that it must have been at least a few years since the end of the war but in his mind, two days ago he had been sitting in a shelled out forest patching up boys screaming for their mothers.

He shook his head in an attempt to dislodge the thought and resolved to getting dressed and heading downstairs for breakfast. He was still thinking of what to do when he reached the kitchen doorway and Heffron turned to him. Eugene caught the look of worry etched into the other man's face, though it brightened as his eyes latched onto his torso though Eugene didn't understand why.

It was then that he realised if he wanted his mental state to go unnoticed, he would have to act like he normally would which he gathered from Heffron's interactions with him, that he was normally physically affectionate.

With this thought in mind, he determinedly walked forwards and pulled the red-head into an embrace and kissed his cheek. 

With this display of affection that he was so unused to giving, he felt a well of embarrassment raise in him and quickly pulled back, grabbed a plate of food and beat a hasty retreat to the dining room, feeling his cheeks begin to burn.


	4. Chapter Four

The day pasted in a blur as the four men spent the day talking, teasing one another and joking, before going on a walk around the surrounding lands. Eugene was disheartened to find that he didn't recognise anything and nothing brought back any lost memories. Not even the exterior of his and Heffron's house rung any bells.

As evening approached, Heffron suggested that they go out to eat at a diner in town that himself and the other man apparently frequented regularly. The idea of going somewhere that he supposedly spent a lot of time at, at first gave him a small thrill of hope that was rapidly fading as time worn on that he could jog a memory. He began to think that if familiarity was going to help him to remember, he probably would remembered something by now after being around his house.

The men all tidied themselves up somewhat, though they stayed in the same clothes they had spent the day in as the diner wasn't fancy enough to warrant anything more formal.

As they getting ready to leave the house, Eugene realised that he didn't know where any keys for a car would be and who would be expected to drive, so dragged his feet to ensure that he was the last one out of the house. When he stepped outside, it was to see that Guarnere and Toye had already piled into the back seat of the truck that he had seen out the front of the house when they had gone on their walk earlier. Heffron had the passenger door open and was about to climb into the seat when he turned and held up a set of keys to Eugene and yell “I've already got 'em!”

It was only a short drive into town as they didn't live too far out. When they entered the restaurant, Eugene was surprised to find that it was a nice quiet place with the dining areas spread out with quite a few secluded places to sit, which may be why he and Heffron went there.

They were guided to a table at the rear of the restaurant tucked away out of sight of a lot of the restaurant and they took their seats. Eugene found himself sat across from Heffron and as they looked over the menu and discussed the food, Eugene found himself glancing up at the other man regularly.

He hadn't really thought of Heffron appearance much before now although he had found himself rather interested in Heffron with his phili accent, red hair and boyish face while back in Easy. Now looking at him in the lighting of the restaurant, he found his eyes drawn to him. He had to force himself to look away from his soft looking lips as he spoke, the way the light made his hair look even redder, how he was flushed from the hot weather and the glimpse of skin where he had the top buttons undone on his shirt.

It was as he found himself staring intently at the other man's collarbone that he heard someone clearing their throat and looked up to find the three other occupants shooting him amused looks. “Aren't you going to have any food to eat or do you just want Babe here?” Toye questioned with a smirk as the other two men muffled their laughter.

Eugene could feel his face heating up and ducked his head, staring determinedly at the menu and picked the first thing this gaze fell upon.

As Heffron called over a waiter to take their orders, Eugene stubbornly refused to look at the other man. He couldn't quite believe that he had just been feeling attracted to a man. He supposed it ought to have obvious to him that he must like men somewhat considering of the evidence of his current relationship but since he had found himself with no memory of the last few years, he hadn't thought too much on the implications of his relationship with another man. He had been on dates with sweet pretty girls and while he had enjoyed most of these, he hadn't felt towards them what he was now feeling towards Heffron.

The night went on with no more hitches. Eugene forced his unwelcome thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on the conversation, making sure to make a contribution and listening to and laughing at the others stories and jokes. The food wasn't bad either and before too long they all finished and paid the bill, which surprised Eugene by not being too expensive, though if it was a few years after the war, rationing must be much less or even stopped now.

After they've left the restaurant they decide that it's too early to go straight home and stop off a bar for a few drinks. The bar they choose is not up to the same standard as they restaurant but isn't too shabby. Guarnere buys a round of drinks and they continue with the laid back and joking conversation they had been having before.

Despite the presence of good company, a full stomach and decent beer, Eugene finds himself unable to relax and keeps a watchful eye on the other occupants of the bar. When they bartender reaches under the bar to grab something, Eugene tenses up and almost throws himself to the floor when the bartender suddenly finds what he was looking for and pulls it out quickly and Eugene found himself expecting it to be a gun.

Later a small group of local men walk in and when they settle themselves down at the bar, Eugene sees them shooting glances at himself and the others. His first thought is that they knew about Heffron and him and weren't happy about and was half preparing himself for a fight. He soon realised that their looks were curious rather than hostile and that they were looking more at Toye and Guarnere and that the two men would be unfamiliar to the locals and their legs would garner curiosity.

 

They didn't stay long at the bar but when they left Eugene felt on edge and emotionally tired, which is what he blamed what followed on.

When they arrived home, the four men all decided to go bed and went with the same sleeping arrangements as they had the night before.

Eugene went to get a glass of water before going to bed so Heffron was already upstairs when he went up. He had been trying not to think of Heffron or that they were going to be sharing a bed together so when he pushed open the bedroom door, he was mostly taken by surprise to find Heffron wearing only a pair of underwear putting his clothes in the laundry basket.

The other man hadn't noticed him yet as he had his back to him, giving Eugene the chance to admire the play of the lamplight on the muscles on his back. He didn't realise that he had moved until he was standing just behind Heffron and the jumped slightly in surprise when he turned round to find him there. The thoughts that had been plaguing him came back to him in a rush and before he could think of what he was doing, he had his hands on the back of the other head and was pulling him into a kiss.

Unlike their previous kisses, at least the ones he could remember, this one was not chaste. He pulled slightly on Heffron's hair, causing him to gasp and giving Eugene the chance to slip his tongue in and start exploring his mouth and Heffron's hands slipped under his shirt and were roaming over his back.

Eugene found that for the first time in a long time, he wasn't thinking or worrying and could only focus on the man in front of him. At least until Heffron's hands strayed to his belt and started to unbuckle it. It was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him as he realised what it was he was doing and who he was doing it with. His eyes shot open and before he could think about it, he roughly shoved Heffron away from him, sending him sprawling on the floor.

Heffron stared up at him from the floor with an expression of shock and hurt. Eugene felt as though he couldn't breathe and could only stare at the other man for a moment before forced out a sorry and then rushed from the room and then out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me ages as I got stuck with it and was then busy with college but I should have more time soon.


	5. Chapter Five

Eugene kept up a hurried pace even after he had stopped running after he rounded some trees making him out of sight of the house. Even with the maddening rush of thoughts going through his head, he was grateful that he hadn't undressed at all after they had gotten back to the house as the there was now a chill in the air.

He was confused by both his feeling towards Heffron who until now he had barely given a second thought to - or none that he could remember at least – and the way that he had found himself reacting to him.

He didn't know why he had kissed the man in the first place, if he was really attracted to him that much or if he trying to prove to Heffron that he was the same man that had been in a relationship with him for who knows how long. And while he was still confused by the way he had reacted so violently to Heffron trying to take things further, he was less confused by it as he could understand that it was probably shock. Though if he had been in a relationship with another man for this long, even if he had no memory of it, shouldn't he have reacted instinctively as he normally would have done in that situation?

He abruptly stopped walking, sighing heavily and putting his head in his hands.

What on earth was Heffron going to think of the way he acted and – god, what if he had hurt him when he had shoved him away? He hadn't so much as glanced at Heffron as he sped from the room.

With this thought in his mind he turned to head back to the house and check on Heffron breaking into a run once more.

So focused on his worried train of thought, it was only when he had almost reached the poach steps that he noticed Guarnere leaning against the door frame, a stormy look clouding his face.

He slowed to a walk before coming to a stop, reasoning that if Guarnere was standing there and not rushing around panicking then Heffron had to be fine.

“What are you rushing back for, Doc?” Guarnere questions as he continues to stand there.

For a moment he said nothing, not knowing what to tell Guarnere before deciding on the truth. “I wanted to make sure that Heffron's alright.”

At that Guarnere's eyes glinted. “what with all this 'Heffron' business now? And what would be wrong with Babe that would make you go sprintin' off to nowhere and back again?” His temper revealed itself the more he went on and Eugene felt nervous knowing how protective Guarnere could be of Heffron and how what happened to look to him.

“Look, it's – I can't explain it a'right? I need to check on Hef- Babe, OK?” He had to stop himself from wincing at his slip up and hoped that Guarnere would leave it be.

Guarnere straightened up from the door as his expression hardened, it appeared that he wasn't going to leave it be. “I don't know what's going on with you, I could understand being a bit out of it but if you think that it gives you an excuse to-”

“It's alright Bill.” Heffron suddenly interjected, taking Eugene by surprise as he hadn't known he even was there and stepped into view of Eugene, now wearing an old looking pair of sweatpants and a worn t-shirt.

Bill looked as though he wanted to continue but Heffron shot him a stern look and he backed down and went back into the house with only a huff of annoyance.

Heffron stepped out on the porch before leaning back against the side of the house with his arms crossed. He suddenly looked worn and older than the cheerful young man that he was known as.

The two men stood for a moment as Eugene thought frantically for something to say before Heffron finally broke the silence. “What's going on, Gene? And I don't just mean what happened upstairs, you've not been acting like you lately.”

Eugene's mind grasped for words but he had no idea what he should tell him, not wanting to hurt him but not knowing what he should do. After several more moments of silence, Heffron seemed to give up, heaving a sigh and turning to go back inside.

“Wait!” Eugene looked down at his hand, surprised to find it now wrapped around Heffron's upper arm and once more frantically searched for something to say. “It's just- I don't know how to tell you- It's the just war, okay?”

At this Heffron's expression softened and he slowly pulled Eugene into an intimate hug. Eugene stiffened but put his arms around the other man awkwardly and tried to relax into it and was surprised when it was rather nice.

They stood like that for what felt like an age to Eugene, but was probably only a few minutes before they pulled away. Heffron smiled hesitantly at him. “Let's just go to bed.” He said softly, turning towards the house again, but this time holding Eugene's hand and gently leading him into the house.

When they reached the bedroom, Heffron only gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek before climbing into bed and leaving Eugene to get undressed.


End file.
